Article by Garrett Kenyon.
By 9 p.m., the bowl of noodles 12-year-old Angelica made for her father has begun to congeal. All the other dishes have been cleaned and put away, and a heavy silence has settled over the house. Angelica tries to concentrate on her homework while her mother, Editha, puts her younger sister and brother to bed. When Editha walks back into the room, Angelica looks up from her books and their eyes meet. They hold their gaze for a moment, communicating the worry they dare not put into words.
After a while, Angelica rises and puts her books away. She tells herself that any minute now, her father will walk through the door with a big smile on his face. If there’s one thing she can depend on, it’s him.
When the policeman knocks on their door an hour later carrying news that will turn all their lives upside down, the bowl of noodles is still sitting on the table, waiting. It’ll be awhile before anyone can bring themselves to move it.
Now, at 18 years old, Angelica is more mature – more focused – than many adults twice her age. When people first meet her, they often mistake her manner for shyness because she considers her words carefully. But when she speaks, she does so in a voice of calm authority that belies her age. She carries herself with an economy of motion as measured and precise as a long-distance runner conserving strength for the many miles ahead.
Growing up, sponsorship was crucial to Angelica. “It helped with my education and my health,” Angelica says. “It provided school supplies and uniforms, health and dental care. If I wasn’t sponsored, we couldn’t have afforded those things.” But when Angelica reached her teens, the program played an even more crucial role in her life – it provided a lighted path that helped her find her way through the deepest shadows of despair.
Angelica honors the memory of her father by giving back to the community.
Near Tabaco, Philippines’ busy sea port, Angelica’s father, Redentor, worked on and around ships his entire life. After high school, he earned a degree in marine engineering and dreamed of traveling the world. But when his young wife, Editha, became pregnant, Redentor discovered something he loved even more than the sea: being a father.
When Editha was pregnant with their first child, Redentor set out on a freight ship traversing the Bicol seas. When the ship returned three months later, low sea levels forced it to drop anchor a quarter mile off Tabaco’s port.
The crew would have to wait three days to disembark. But with his home in sight, Redentor found that prospect unbearable. So, leaving his belongings behind, he jumped overboard and swam for shore, deciding never to leave his family again.
Redentor got a job as a welder instead, forgoing the decent wages he had known, but he was happy. Angelica was born healthy, and she became the apple of his eye. He took his daughter on long rides on his motorbike. They’d drive to the waterfront and walk on the beach.
“Even as a young child, Angelica was very close to her father,” Editha says. “My daughter had a lot of friends, but she liked playing with her father the most.”
For Angelica, Redentor made everything seem brighter. Nothing seemed as bad when he was around. “When things got really tight, dad always had a solution,” she says. “He was so resourceful. He encouraged me to dream big and said he would work to make my dreams come true…he cared so much about my future.”
Redentor would never see that future. When Angelica remembers that night, she struggles to hold back tears.
“One evening we were at home having fun. At around 5:00, dad asked if I could cook him some noodles. I did, but then his cousin came by on his motorcycle and needed to run an errand with him. He said it wouldn’t take long, so I put his bowl of noodles on the table and waited...
“We were a bit worried when it turned dark. It was unusual for dad to stay out late without letting us know. At about 10:00, a policeman knocked on our door and told my mom there had been an accident.
“I tried telling myself it wasn’t serious, but I was so worried I couldn’t breathe or feel my arms and feet. It was as if someone had injected me with anesthesia.”
For days, Angelica wasn’t allowed to see her father, who was clinging to life. After five days, she was called to the hospital.
There, she found Redentor surrounded by life support machines. He looked so fragile lying there that Angelica barely recognized him. “I was afraid to go near him. I felt so hurt…like I was the one who got hit.” It would be the last time Angelica saw her father alive.
The loss was devastating. “I isolated myself from everyone,” Angelica says. “Every time I saw a father and daughter together, I was reminded I no longer had a father. I started hiding my feelings, but when I was alone, I would cry. The sadness was physically painful.”
Soon, Angelica’s grief grew into full depression. She couldn’t imagine ever being happy again. When she was invited to attend a youth induction ceremony, she almost didn’t go.
The youth program induction ceremony is an important night for sponsored kids. When they reach age 12, the ceremony introduces them to all the different CI youth programs. For Angelica – it meant even more.
“Being active in the youth programs helped me cope with my father’s death. Meeting new friends, learning new things, doing community work, and just having fun in the programs served as a therapy for me.” – Angelica
“That was the turning point of my life,” she says. “I’d never seen so many kids having fun together. I met new friends and I got so excited...I never knew I could feel so happy and accepted. I asked if I could join the next activity, and they said everybody’s welcome. That made me even happier!”
From then on, Angelica threw herself into the youth programs. She’s joined the Youth Health Corps and received leadership training and served on the Youth Council and participated in dozens of community-improvement projects.
“Being active in the youth programs helped me cope with my father’s death,” Angelica says. “Meeting new friends, learning new things, doing community work, and just having fun in the programs served as a therapy for me.”
“Being active in the youth programs helped me cope with my father’s death. Meeting new friends, learning new things, doing community work, and just having fun in the programs served as a therapy for me.” – Angelica
A year ago, Angelica decided it was time to give back to the program that had given her so much. “I saw how much my mom enjoyed helping others, and she always encouraged me to volunteer. All I needed was an opportunity.”
Teaching others to use computers at the Children International community center “feels like a noble act,” Angelica says.
The Children International Youth Council provided that opportunity. Angelica was studying education and had an interest in computers, so the Youth Council paid for her to receive special training, which Angelica would then pass on to other children and youth.
“I give computer lessons three or four times a week at the Youth Resource Center,” she says. “Each session can last two to four hours, depending on the student’s ability to learn.”
Teaching provided the final piece of the puzzle for Angelica. “There’s a special joy in seeing students learn,” she says. “It feels like a noble act.” She still misses her father, but now she’s learned to view her achievements as a way of honoring his memory.
Photos and reporting assistance by Eduardo Uy in Tabaco, Philippines.
